A Perfectly Awesome Weekend Getaway!!

Ben and I decided for our one year anniversary that we would go away. It took a little while to decide where we wanted to go. We thought maybe we'd go to Boston, but found that it was difficult to find a reasonably priced hotel near a subway station. Plus it was a five hour drive from here. Then we thought we'd go to Washington DC like we did last year to see the cherry blossoms. That was less expensive, but it's been so cold for this time of year. Last year it was warm and sunny when we went, it was so amazing. DC's only a four hour drive which isn't too bad. Then we came to the conclusion of Gettysburg! We were able to get an awesome price for our hotel which included a hot tub! Also, it was only a three hour drive.

We left after Ben got out of work on the 30th and got to Gettysburg around 11pm. It was so nice to just relax! We both needed a little escape from our daily lives. It's so nice to get away with my honey! I can't believe how fast a year has gone.

So the first full day we were there was a very busy day. We started the day by going to the Visitor's Center to get a CD we could put in our car to tour us through the battlefield. We ended up finding one that was a little cheaper at the American Civil War Museum. It took us about three hours to do and was really neat! Ben and I were both surprised how informative and interesting the CD was. We thought it might be really corny and boring. I'm glad we were proven wrong! 

After that we went back to the Visitor's Center and took a tour of the Cyclorama, watched a little movie about the Civil War, and then went through the museum they have. The Cyclorama was amazing! It's this painting that's 300 and some odd feet around by 30 some odd feet high. They had it displayed so nicely with different props at the bottom that blended in with the painting. It felt like you were standing in the middle of the battlefield as the fight was going on. The museum was pretty cool too. It had lots of Civil War items and uniforms etc. 

Once we were done there it was probably about 5pm. We went back to the hotel and got cleaned up and got ready for our anniversary dinner. We decided to go to the Appalachian Brewing Company because last year we had gone to Capitol City Brewing Company in Washington DC. We each had a stout beer and poutine (our ALL TIME favorite Canadian snack) for an appetizer. For dinner Ben had a delicious burger and I had fish and chips. I think my fish won the dinner contest betwixt the two of us. We always try each other's food or drinks because we're just that dorky! Then we decide which one's we like better. 

If you think we had done enough that day, you are sorely mistaken! After dinner, though a little tipsy, we took a ghost tour. That only lasted about an hour and had some neat ghost stories. Ben doesn't believe in that kind of thing and wasn't scared. I was a little freaked out when our tour guide took us out in a field that a battle occurred on and where mass graves once were. So needless to say, we crammed everything we possibly could in that day! 

We still had one more day to do things before we went home. So on Saturday we drove out to see Sach's covered bridge which was used by both the union and confederate soldiers during the Civil War. It was a beautiful bridge and we got some really nice pictures. We got a little over 500 pictures during our trip. It was at the bridge that Ben's camera died so I had to used my camera on my phone after that. Once we drove back to town we took the Jennie Wade House tour. Jennie Wade was the only civilian killed during the battle of Gettysburg. You could still see where the bullet came through two doors of the house and shot her in the back. After all that was done we ate lunch at Hunt's Battlefield Fries. We each had a cheese steak (possibly the best we've ever had) and cheese fries. Finally, it was time for us to leave. We had such a nice time! I love when Ben and I go away for a few days. It's great spending time with someone you love.

Everything else has been good. Mom and I started a diet and have both lost about 5lbs each. I just have to start going to the gym again! Well, I'll post a few pictures of our trip :)

This is where the battle first started on July 1, 1863

Eternal Light Peace Memorial dedicated by President Franklin D. Roosevelt

Who's this weirdo?

North Carolina Monument

General Robert E. Lee Monument

My sweetheart <3

Eisenhower observation tower

Little Round Top

Big Round Top

Minnesota and Pennsylvania Monuments

Pennsylvania Monument

Some guy I really like...

Ben and I at the top of the Pennsylvania Monument! Go us!!

Cyclorama

This were taken at the circle in Gettysburg

The train station Lincoln arrived at when he stayed here to give the Gettysburg Address

Look how cute these owls are!!

I wanted one of these Gourds but they were $56

Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln.

David Wills House

Sach's covered bridge

The first door the bullet went through at the Jennie Wade House (middle of the door)

The second door the bullet went through. It's also said that if an unmarried woman puts her left ring finger in it, she'll have a marriage proposal with in a year. I did it...so let's see if it happens!!

The board Jennie was making bread on when she was shot

I WANT this chair! It's so pretty...

Ben and Jennie Wade

Jennie Wade House

Okay I think that's quite enough for today! I've posted way too many pictures. Oh, another good thing is that I've lost 7 lbs! :)

Good news at last!

Well, today (actually yesterday, but you know what I mean) I had ALL four of my wisdom teeth removed. My Mom, Mike and Ben all came with me. They're so wonderful to me. They've supported me during all this legal crap and now getting my teeth out. All of them have helped me with money because I'm so broke I can't even begin to imagine it. I couldn't ask for a better family and boyfriend. When I went in for the surgery Ben went to the store to pick up my new Sims Medieval game that came out today. That was so expensive, I don't know what possessed them to do that! The surgery didn't take that long either. I went in at about 10:20 am and was out around 11:30ish. When they woke me up I was laughing which was weird!! Plus, I got to keep my teeth!! I know, I'm such a weirdo :) The dentist prescribed me vicodin for pain which made me a little nauseous the first time I took it, but the second time I was fine. Ben thought those painkillers would make me very loopy, but I'm really not. I've been pretty coherent and feeling very well. I played my game for a while, made Ben some dinner, and played some Disney Scene It. Not bad if I do say so myself!! I thought for sure I'd be dead to the world for at least the day.

Getting my wisdom teeth removed wasn't the good news though. I finally heard back about my re-certification for my job and they'll extend it for the time I need. I cried when I heard the news. I've been constantly stressed since November. I truly look forward to not being so anxious and stressed out all the time. That is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you guys for being there for me...

Sleepy Still

Today I went to court again and was put in a program to get all these legal things cleared up. It's going to take a year for this program to be over, but whatever. As long as everything will be better in the end. So now it's just a waiting game. Another thing I'll have to see about is my job, but I really don't want to think about that right now.

On another note, I have to have ALL four of my wisdom teeth removed on the 22nd of this month. Go me! At least they're knocking me out for the procedure. I am pretty nervous because I've never been knocked out for anything ever! Well, if I die, it was nice while it lasted I suppose.

I am also glad to say that things with Ben and I are much, much better! I wouldn't have much to live for if I lost him. He has helped me out so much during this crappy time in my life. We've been together almost a year already. We dated for a while before we made it "official" so we're both not sure when to celebrate our anniversary. I think we're going to celebrate it on April 1st. That was when we left for Washington DC to go see the cherry blossoms. I believe it was when we were down there that I first told Ben I loved him. I'm so glad we're together. At least I'm ending on a happier note for a change :)

Ben and I sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial - April 2, 2010. This is one of my favorite pictures of us <3

We look like such goof balls here :)

Lincoln Memorial

Statue of Lincoln in his memorial :)

Reflecting Pool and Washington Monument

The cherry blossoms were gorgeous!

Jefferson Memorial with more pretty cherry trees

Inside the Jefferson Memorial

Close up on the pillars of the Jefferson Memorial

I loved the subway! The architecture was so interesting.

<3

Still not looking up

It's really beginning to seem that my life just isn't ever going to recover from this mess. Ben and I had a huge fight today. We've been fighting a lot anyway, so I don't know what's going to happen. I went out to visit him on his lunch today and when we were eating I asked if he was going to spend the night at my house. He said he'd have to think about it and then I said that he could sleep in if he wanted to at his own house. I honestly wasn't upset that he may not want to spend the night, but he thought I was. So then I asked if he was happy and a lot of other relationship related questions. It all escalated from there, it was just horrible. He gave me such a severe look, I wasn't sure what to say. I really feel secluded and not myself since that issue in November happened. Ben said that I get angry over everything, which I know is mostly true. I can't help it, I try not to, but I feel like I'm losing my mind. He also said that I criticize everything he does and I'm always lecturing him. So I've become a nag at 25. I hate the person I've become. I have so much going through this damn head of mine I can't stand it. I really hope tonight improves :'(

Will things ever get better?

If I thought things were really bad before, oh how wrong I was. I have to be certified to work at my job. Due to the legal issues I have found myself in the middle of, If I can't get re-certified I will most likely lose my job. Maybe I could work in a different department or something, but what's the point when everyone will talk about why I'm not an aide anymore? I mean, this isn't my dream job, but it pays my bills for now. Maybe not for much longer.

I've never been so depressed in my entire life. I try to stay positive and be happy, but how can I? Even with people around me I feel so alone. I don't really have many friends so it wouldn't matter if my existence was no longer. I'm nothing to this world. I'm just completely disgusted with myself in every way.

I love Ben with every ounce of my being, but I can't help to think he deserves so much better. I'm so proud of him too! He just got a new job with Apple and was finally able to quit shitty Game Stop. I'm so happy that he's succeeding! Ben is such a wonderful person, so kind, funny and charismatic. If I lost him, I'd be an empty shell of a person. I would completely understand if he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. It would upset him to know what I was thinking. This is a new beginning to his life, a new job and location, maybe it's time for a new girlfriend?

New Year's Resolutions

So here goes...

- Be a more positive person
- Lessen my debt
- Give up at least 3 credit cards
- Lose at least 15 pounds
- Eat healthier
- Get my car fixed!!!
- Pursue a different career
- Read more
- Sleep more regularly
- Swear less
- Travel somewhere new

Feeling down

There haven't been any new posts in a while because a lot has been going on. The last I wrote I was super excited about going to Reno. Only two days before I left, I ran into some legal issues which REALLY sucked. That's not even over and I don't want to think about it because it depresses me more than I can handle. I was in this horrible depressed funk for weeks. It took all of me to get on that airplane to Reno.

Anyway, I did end up going to Reno all by myself. I learned a lot at the Glaminar but, it saddens me that I won't really be able to pursue any of these stupid dreams for a while. I've really been thinking that I'm crazy for ever thinking that I could do this. This whole horrible situation has my confidence almost completely gone.

Then there's Ben and I. We've been bickering quite a bit lately. I'm not sure if it's because I've been sick with a cold/flu thing for way too long and now he's sick. Us not getting along has me even more melancholy. I feel like I'm a horrible girlfriend. All I keep thinking is that he deserves better than me and I should leave him alone. He should have a girlfriend who is sweet and can give him everything. More and more I think I deserve to be alone in this pathetic life of mine. Everyone's been getting pretty sick, so I don't know when I'll see him. Seeing him is the only highlight of my day. I'm beginning to think there's no end to how I feel. I really feel like a complete failure. Goodnight...